i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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