those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
