So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
