I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
