my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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