I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i wish my penis had a tongue
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
