I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
