It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
