when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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