who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
