Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
wow bdsm is so cute
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