so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
