:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
