I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
