So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
