Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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