Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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