I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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