He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
