No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So many bounce houses so little time
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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