I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
only you would photoshop your dick
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
