It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
