I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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