STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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