I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
