GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
