There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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