Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
