No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
