I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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