if you like me you must not know who I am
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
