I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
