My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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