Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
