Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
