the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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