i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
