omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
