Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
