Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
