Buhtt sex?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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