he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
