dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
