I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
