Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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