He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
