It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
