what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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