He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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