don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
