Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
