if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I lost the right to judge tonight
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
