his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
