At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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