Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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