this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
