her vagine was all disorganized.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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