I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
