I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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