I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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